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Friday, July 12, 2013

A New Assignment

So I've been asked by the church where we've just become members to contribute to a blog they have for women in the congregation. The deal: I attend worship. (No brainer.) I pay attention. (Also, so far, a no brainer.) I think about what I hear. (OK, got that.) Reflect on it. (Uh-huh.) And write something down about my reflections. That written response will be uploaded to the church blog for the interested women in the congregation to read, think about, and maybe, just maybe, discuss.

And I've known for about a month that I would be doing this. After this coming Sunday's sermon.

And I want to. I really, really want to.

And I'm scared to death!

Do you know the ominous and foreboding sense of the Pressure To Perform? Yeah. That's it.

I'm feeling that pressure. And it's completely irrational. I mean, what do I do for a living? Uhhh...I write. And what do I do for fun and relaxation and when I need to worship about something in particular? Yep. I write. And do I enjoy and always learn from the sermons I've been hearing? You bet.

So why the fear? Why is it that as soon as a date is put upon it, in advance, I feel my blood coagulating and the little beads of sweat popping out and I'm sure, just SURE, that this week is the week when not a single word is going to make sense, and I won't be able to focus, and nothing is going to come OUT OF MY BRAIN?

I should see this as a challenge. My dear friend Jill Perry taught me something once. A simple phrase. "I'm just waiting to see what God will do with this opportunity." THAT is the attitude I should have. It's not my words, my insights anyway, right? It is His word that does not return void, and it is His word I need to relax and let speak to me, as He always, always does.

But would you, my friends, pray for me? I can tell by my stats page that a few of you read what I write here. I thank you. I love discussion. I love the sharing of ideas and the way that they develop and grow when others comment and stretch and add, and it gets bounced around and flung to greater maturity like a round of yeasty pizza dough between various hands and minds. Would you pray for me that God would use my reflections and thoughts on His words, carried through the mind and thoughts of His servant, our pastor, to bring something meaningful and useful to someone, for this coming Sunday?

Thank you. I knew you would.
Let's just wait and see what God will do with this opportunity.

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